im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
