he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
