We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
