Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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