Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
