also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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