don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
wow bdsm is so cute
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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