Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
