Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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