Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
