Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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