don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
