theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
