The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
