whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
