Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Mom said you looked used
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
