Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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