i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
