I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
