and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Is Oprah even human
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
