let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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