Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
