More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
