After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
