Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Me too!
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
