That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
