Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
