My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
