Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
