I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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