He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
