In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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