It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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