I wish you could order shots online.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Im part way to drunk.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
