Whod you bang
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
