lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
And then he peed in my hair
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