I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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