whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
