I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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