Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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