And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
