Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
