I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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