I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize