I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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