I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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