just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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