Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
if only i could text you this smell
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
