you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
