i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
